WHAT IF?

Ever ask yourself, what if?  What if I would have taken that job? What if I were thinner? What if I would have continued my education? What if I never picked up that first drink, or did that first drug? What if I had never met him or her? What if…………? Truth is, we can ask ourselves, what if, about every decision we’ve ever made throughout life; but what does that accomplish?  We begin questioning ourselves, our actions, our lives, our goals, and our future.  We tug at the very seams of the fabric that holds us together, and that is faith.  Somewhere along the way we lost faith in ourselves; we listened to society and believed we had to look a certain way, act a certain way, earn a certain amount of money, have this number of children, be married to this type of person, have the perfect career and never ever be alone.  We lost sight of happiness, we let go of our dreams, and we followed what everyone else thought we should be, and not what we wanted to be. We stopped being comfortable in our own skin, and forgot how to love ourselves for who we are, and who God wanted us be.  If someone would have asked me 10 years ago where I thought I would be today; I would have been mistaken.  Life is not over because we made a bad decision, it’s not over because a relationship didn’t work out, and it’s not over because we became addicted to something, only God knows when it is over.  

      Personally, I had a very difficult time with not being in control, coming to doors closed, and seeing plans fail, but I had to look at closed doors and failures as blessings rather than setbacks.  I made plenty of mistakes along the road, but I have many life lessons that can be passed on to others in similar predicaments.  So, what if my road were different?  Well, it would be pretty hard to convince an addict not to use drugs; it would be difficult discussing how there is hope in the midst of depression, how God can ease anxiety, and how life can be found in loss. No, I don’t ask “what if” anymore, I trust in God’s plan, even when I don’t understand it (that’s FAITH).  I mean, “what if” it all works out? KV